Mid-Atlantic Nav Conference II

I told you there was another part coming...

I have to admit that, at the start, the conference didn't go too well for me. I was thrilled to be there, I was really enjoying the sessions, I was learning a lot of good stuff, but I wasn't really there. I have been having a really hard time focusing lately, and Saturday morning was no exception. Then I got taken down a couple of notches.

We had some free time after lunch. After a failed attempt at instigating a snowball war, I decided to spend some time in the Word as it had been a while since I had a really quality quiet time. I struggled through a few verses, thinking all the while that God was trying to tell me something and I just wasn't getting the point. So, instead, I got frustrated, gave up, and went for a walk so that He and I could chat.

Apparently that's what I really needed: to get away from people and other distractions and just wander. So I wound up in this field and God was finally able to get through to me on some things He's been trying to tell me for quite some time. I thought I had learned those lessons, I thought I had given things over to God, I thought I had already grasped those concepts...I was wrong.

There I was, in the middle of this field of snow, ranting at God wanting to know why I was so frustrated, why I hadn't been seeing the growth I wanted in my walk, why I hadn't gotten an answer to a prayer I've had for some time and why I couldn't focus.

And all He had to say was "Surrender." Which made me break down entirely.

Can I just say I love it when God does that? I mean, the still-small-voice thing. It just blows me away every time.

Anyway, God managed to point out how I've been trying to do things on my own power. Sure, I was having quiet times, but I was treating them more like study sessions. I was praying that God's will would be done in certain situations, but I was still trying to get things done on my own. I was praying for an answer, but I was searching it out on my own. He pointed out that He couldn't move in my life until I stepped out of the way; He couldn't guide my situation until I handed it over completely; and He couldn't give me an answer until I turned everything over and was able to listen to Him instead of my own reasoning.

So He asked, I gave, He answered.

After that, the conference took on a whole other tone for me. I could focus and actually learn. A lot of what was said in subsequent sessions reiterated what God had blindsided me with. One of the points that most sticks with me is this (regarding surrender, go figure):

There are some things that we surrender to God once and that is it. He takes care of it and we never have to deal with it again. There are some things that we have to deal with continually, that we have to bring before God every day. He wants us to come to Him and surrender those things to Him daily because He wants us to depend on Him.

God wants us to be dependent on Him...what an addiction to have.