It's been an interesting couple of days around here, to put it mildly, which has left me in this weird state of confusion, exhaustion, and....something I'm not exactly sure how to define. It all pretty much comes down to: I'm not sure what God is doing, but I'm doing my best to hang on for the ride.

I guess I should preface this with a synopsis of the half day of prayer from a week ago. I posted that God was telling me to get out of the boat, so to speak. This was in relation to where God wants me after graduation. Long story short, I think God may be calling me to a ministry that has little or nothing to do with my studies over the past four years.

Needless to say, that in itself is quite stressful...last night I broke down and had one of those wonderfully intense "Can we talk?" prayer sessions. After something like an hour and a half of tears, frustration, fear, and other emotions pouring out I felt that beautiful peace that comes from surrendering our cares to Christ. [By the way, I absolutely love how we can come fearlessly before the throne. I'm afraid to think of where I'd be without such a freedom.]

And then, I get a message that I should have received much earlier in the day but, due to my >sarcasm< stellar organizational skills >/sarcasm<, I did not receive until right before I went to bed.

Being as vague as possible (which I'm sure you love but is necessary because I really don't think it appropriate to share details at this point...): I was faced with making a decision that I was not expecting to have to make. Honestly, it's one of the harder things I've had to do, especially as I there are many who would think me absolutely insane for the decision I wound up making. I'll admit there is a part of me that thinks the same thing, and that part was quite vocal in the decision making process. Somewhere along the way it's been said that the right thing at the wrong time is still wrong, or something like that. That's what God led me to as right now He has other thing planned. Even though I probably made a bigger thing out of the issue than what it was, I felt it best not to even start down a road I wasn't going to follow.

Confused yet? Yeah, my heads been reeling all day, too. But I've been clinging to Isaiah 30:18-21. God actually showed those verses to me before having to make that decision...I wonder if He was checking to see if I had been listening.