Thursday, January 29, 2004

Absolute Nonsense

I may not be very blog-savvy but I know enough to understand that posting things like one's own poems tends not to be appreciated much, especially when they are lengthy (as in 2 pages as mine tend to be). So I've decided to honor popular demand for the time being. The following, however, is a favorite away message of mine that has come here to retire. I would have just deleted it entirely but a couple of my friends particularly enjoyed it while in use so here it will remain. (Meanwhile, that Yeti game? 588.8, hear me roar!)

I'm starting a self-help group (I know) for the coordinationally challenged. We will be meeting to discuss some of the difficulties of everyday life, things that graceful people take for granted. Session topics to be as follows:
The Dynamics of Doors: ll vs. sh.
Getting Up Again: Learning to keep one foot in front of the other.
When Things Get Screwy: The truth behind lefty-loosey, righty-tighty.
Button, Button, Who's Got the Button: A crash course in clasps, chains, zippers and other such fascinating fastening devices.
We also will have classes for advanced learners such as:
The Bell Tolls for Thee: A detailed dialogue in dialing independence.
Let's Lace: Investigating the aspects of straight vs. crisscrossed shoe-lacing. Which will include a special hot topic debate: All Tied Up: Over vs. Under.

And, yes, I think I'm pretty darn cute.

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