I want to tell you a story, but I've no idea where to begin, or even what it should be about. I could tell you of how I miss my dog, of family traditions, or even quote passages of essays I once wrote. I suppose I could pick any topic and pour myself into is, reaching into the very corners of thought in search of some revelation, clarification, inspiration. I would much rather write with no purpose, no structure, no goal; just put pen to paper, fingers to keys, and see what happens to emerge. Even seeing words before me I can feel ideas coming into focus, thoughts settling in on their perch--intellectual Ritalin.

Surprising, really, what a little order can accomplish. I'm amazed how mush time I've found now that I have so much to do. Adding tasks to my schedule has refocused my priorities. I find I have even more time for things like this. Refocus. This weekend I was on the verge of breakdown, I put things off until they are actually worth stressing over, and then it hits me in waves--and I start to shut down in defense. So this weekend found me fighting the shutdown. I nearly buckled when I realized I would be losing an entire hour.

Refocus. Worship Sunday morning and reading scripture. I was asked to read Psalm 22, which led me to read Psalm 24. Who is this King of glory? Even after the morning of worship and prayer, my hands still weren't lifted. It took focus, me focusing on the data I had to collect, forcing myself into observation mode for this project I've been working on. And the sky was an incredible blue, the clouds perfectly placed. In the midst of the headstrong winds, a voice asking "Do you remember who I AM?"

Right. Lord of hosts, wonderful counselor, my strong tower. I just have to be reminded sometimes.

I'd like to retire there and do nothing,
or nothing much, forever, in two bare rooms:
look through binoculars, read boring books,
old, long books, and write down useless notes,
talk to myself, and, foggy days,
watch the droplets slipping, heavy with light.

-Excerpt: Elizabeth Bishop's "The End of March"-

Busy Busy Busy

This week is going to be crazy. I refuse to declare a hiatus, that would be giving in to the fact that I'll be doing very little outside study this week....Of course, it's not like I update that often anyway; we'll see what I can manage.

This sums things up nicely:

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
--Mother Theresa--

There is nothing wrong with dreary...

It's overcast, dripping rain, windy, and forty degrees outside. I absolutely love it.

This is perfect beach weather: rocky shore; stormy skies; wind cutting in off of the breakers, past your layers, past your flesh, into your very core...

National Poetry Month

Yep, April is National Poetry Month. In light of that, I hope to get some poetry up here periodically. I wanted to start with some Elizabeth Bishop but, as all my favorites of hers go for pages and I'm having the hardest time choosing an excerpt, she'll have to wait.

Since I need something we'll go with an excerpt from "Olive" from one of my own favorites:

The only thing he saw when he walked in,
was Olive.
She had her back to him,
standing at the sink,
washing the dishes.
The shelves around her were empty,
except for the pots.

And everything was color,
except for Olive.
A brown skirt.
Brown,
bland,
and Olive.

The dishes clinked,
stacked one at a time.
They would have to be dried,
by those hands.
Arthritic now
but then, past, so vary able.
Now they washed dishes,
slowly.

A Merry Un-Birthday to me.

I thought I had great friends before...
I need to revise that to say I have the greatest friends in the world.

Tonight, after bible study, I got another surprise party (this one included swing dancing and scrumptious cake).

{Pause, reflect, beam.}

So I had planned on coming back and writing an actual post (on something out of Hebrews) and then get to studying for the test I have bright and early tomorrow this morning. After the slight detour of the evening, I'm going to have to jump right into studying (as I haven't even started) for this test that is quite literally for the birds (feather structure, bones, etc.).

You know, since Wildlife is my major, I think I should get credit for some of my extracurriculars, especially if I can offer sufficient proof of wildness.

Going to get bird-brained now...