My little friends,
to talk of other things.
Of shores and trips and packing bags
Of week-long break and Spring!
And why I'm off to Florida
And whether we'll get to swing.
Calloo-Callay
No work, hurray!
We're cabbages and kings!
Yes sir. I am off to Stuart, Florida for this the week of Spring Break. It's one of the Nav trips we run every year and we'll be staying at a church and working on homes for Habitat for Humanity.
I will be missing my babies up in Chester, but I am really looking forward to this week.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Do you enjoy the distortion?
So I'm an Earthsuit fan. (Apparently they are no longer "Earthsuit" but that doesn't really matter.) It's really hard to describe or classify them. Although it made sense, for some reason, when I learned they were from New Orleans.
One of my particular favorites of theirs is Sky Flashings:
One of my particular favorites of theirs is Sky Flashings:
Who keeps the balance in suspended skies
Supporting Earth with inward thrust
Let the audience refocus eyes
On all sky flashings in front of us
Who's seen in the midst of unsealing skies
It's revelation that all can see
And yet our hearts remain hushed inside
Mindless of fantasia we enjoy for free.
It takes a miracle, kaleidoscope superior
Spinning vortex, bleeding shades of night to day
Sovereign pictures center stage
Genius of the cosmic craze
Days and nights keep on and on
God abroad in blended song
In our sky flashings
Who can deny this pure design
Emanating views never seen
Revealing art to mortal minds
Entranced in our phantasmic dreams
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Disappearing Act
I know you are probably wondering what's happened to me the past couple of weeks. I could say that I decided to give up posting for Lent, but that's evidently not the case. Nor have I given up on the whole blog thing and just decided to let my page slowly wear away into the mysterious expanse of the internet. The simple truth is, I've been absolutely swamped. I've barely been able to keep my head above water these past couple of weeks, and really don't have time between now and Spring Break (1.5 weeks away) either. I'm just refusing to do work tonight. Or anything more than reading at any rate.
I've been thinking recently of how distant I've become in so many of my relationships. I remember growing up, how every time we moved I would swear it was the time that I was going to keep up correspondence with those friends I was leaving behind. If I ever did, it slowly lessoned. Each letter was more delayed than the last. And then they just stopped completely. I've been noticing with friendships I have now. It has taken a lot of determination to keep involved with some people. As hard as it is sometimes here in town, it's been even more so with people who live in other cities, and other states.
Lets run through the list. I haven't seen most of my maternal relatives for 12 years. My maternal grandparents came up to visit occasionally, but the last time they came was probably 4 or 5 years ago. My paternal grandfather came up to visit a couple of summers ago, but I haven't seen my paternal grandmother or my uncles for, again, 12 years. I think they (my grandmother and at least one of my uncles) are planning to come up sometime this spring, which is tremendously exciting.
I do keep in touch with my parents. I didn't get to call home too much last year, but this year I've been calling at least once a week, often more. I think it's because I fear drifting away so much. I don't want to have the relationship with them that my parents have with their families. My dad hears from his family maybe 3 times a year, total. Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
One of the things that really bugs me is what has become of my brother and me. We spent years in the same house and couldn't really stand each other. But now, I haven't seen him in 3 years, and I rarely get to speak with him. When I do hear what is going on with him, it's usually relayed through my parents.
I've been fighting. I've been writing letters. I've been determined to know how people in my family are doing. Is this just how it is? We fall to the point of the obligatory holiday phone call? You know, all this technology is supposed to be making communication easier...I don't think we are using it to its full potential.
And on a side note: A little too ironic: Blogger spell check doesn't recognize "blog" as a proper word. Neither does it recognize Blogger. You think they'd fix that.
I've been thinking recently of how distant I've become in so many of my relationships. I remember growing up, how every time we moved I would swear it was the time that I was going to keep up correspondence with those friends I was leaving behind. If I ever did, it slowly lessoned. Each letter was more delayed than the last. And then they just stopped completely. I've been noticing with friendships I have now. It has taken a lot of determination to keep involved with some people. As hard as it is sometimes here in town, it's been even more so with people who live in other cities, and other states.
Lets run through the list. I haven't seen most of my maternal relatives for 12 years. My maternal grandparents came up to visit occasionally, but the last time they came was probably 4 or 5 years ago. My paternal grandfather came up to visit a couple of summers ago, but I haven't seen my paternal grandmother or my uncles for, again, 12 years. I think they (my grandmother and at least one of my uncles) are planning to come up sometime this spring, which is tremendously exciting.
I do keep in touch with my parents. I didn't get to call home too much last year, but this year I've been calling at least once a week, often more. I think it's because I fear drifting away so much. I don't want to have the relationship with them that my parents have with their families. My dad hears from his family maybe 3 times a year, total. Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
One of the things that really bugs me is what has become of my brother and me. We spent years in the same house and couldn't really stand each other. But now, I haven't seen him in 3 years, and I rarely get to speak with him. When I do hear what is going on with him, it's usually relayed through my parents.
I've been fighting. I've been writing letters. I've been determined to know how people in my family are doing. Is this just how it is? We fall to the point of the obligatory holiday phone call? You know, all this technology is supposed to be making communication easier...I don't think we are using it to its full potential.
And on a side note: A little too ironic: Blogger spell check doesn't recognize "blog" as a proper word. Neither does it recognize Blogger. You think they'd fix that.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Some things should just stay dead
Supposedly, if you hang on to something long enough it will come back into style. With all the retro/vintage fashion waves that have been about recently I've been excited to see many 40s and 50s inspired looks. I've even liked some of the 60s fabrics and sometimes the 70s funk that has shown up.
The one thing I dread. The thing that sparks convulsive twitching as I see it creeping back into our closets is the return of the 80s. Maybe it's because I lived through part of the decade and don't want to admit that I'm old enough for something I've worn to be "back in style." Maybe it's because it's the only "retro" decade that I've actually seen in person and could actually witness how bad things were at the time. Whatever it is, I'm fighting.
So I just about died yesterday when I saw a girl on campus in a black off-the-shoulder shirt, a white skirt, and black Spandex shorts underneath. She even had black sneakers to complete the outfit. If her hair wasn't so normal, I swear she could have passed for Cyndi Lauper. Except she wasn't looking for fun. Oh no, she was spotted well before lunch time. This was day-wear.
The one thing I dread. The thing that sparks convulsive twitching as I see it creeping back into our closets is the return of the 80s. Maybe it's because I lived through part of the decade and don't want to admit that I'm old enough for something I've worn to be "back in style." Maybe it's because it's the only "retro" decade that I've actually seen in person and could actually witness how bad things were at the time. Whatever it is, I'm fighting.
So I just about died yesterday when I saw a girl on campus in a black off-the-shoulder shirt, a white skirt, and black Spandex shorts underneath. She even had black sneakers to complete the outfit. If her hair wasn't so normal, I swear she could have passed for Cyndi Lauper. Except she wasn't looking for fun. Oh no, she was spotted well before lunch time. This was day-wear.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Heard in passing:
Guy 1: So did you have a good time?
Guy 2: According to reports, I had a blast.
I've never seen the appeal of drinking yourself out of consciousness.
Guy 2: According to reports, I had a blast.
I've never seen the appeal of drinking yourself out of consciousness.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Just thought I'd share.
So I've been doing some "spring semester" cleaning and ran across some things I had written long ago and just about forgot I had. This one I wrote in high school:
I'm so tired of waiting
Waiting to hear Your word
Waiting to feel Your pow'r
Waiting to see you move
Where's Your perfect timing?
Wouldn't now be good?
Clearly life's not following my plan.
Still I'm clinging to all Your promises
'Cause I've read all about the hope You give
Lord, remind me of Your faithfulness
Let Your grace be enough.
Not by my will, Lord
So let Thy will be done.
Where is all this going?
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me do?
Who would You have me know?
Still, I stand in waiting.
Here I am, send me.
Lord, I long to follow where you lead.
So I'm clinging to all Your promises
'Cause I know all about the hope You give.
Keep reminding me of You faithfulness
And Your grace is more than enough.
Not by my will, Lord.
So let Thy will be done.
In case you couldn't tell, those are supposed to be song lyrics. I never thought the tune itself was very good, but that is another story.
The point, I think, is that I still get impatient about the future. It's not that I want to see the whole map (control-freak that I am), but sometimes knowing where the next turn is would be grand. I guess that is what trusting God, having faith is all about. All I know is the final destination and it's all up to God when I get there and what roads I take on the way. Forget being a co-pilot, I'm sitting in the back more or less along for the ride. Shoot, crank the music and let's stop off at some of those green pastures every now and again and I'm good to go.
Right, that metaphor is far from perfect. I know it doesn't really address work done along the way, like offering pedestrians a ride and such. But it says what I want it to say. And - gosh darn it - it's my metaphor and I'll leave it incomplete if I want to.
Where was I? Oh yeah, God's perfect planning. I was singing a song the other night (Abba Father by Shaun Groves) and part of it is:
I'm so tired of waiting
Waiting to hear Your word
Waiting to feel Your pow'r
Waiting to see you move
Where's Your perfect timing?
Wouldn't now be good?
Clearly life's not following my plan.
Still I'm clinging to all Your promises
'Cause I've read all about the hope You give
Lord, remind me of Your faithfulness
Let Your grace be enough.
Not by my will, Lord
So let Thy will be done.
Where is all this going?
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me do?
Who would You have me know?
Still, I stand in waiting.
Here I am, send me.
Lord, I long to follow where you lead.
So I'm clinging to all Your promises
'Cause I know all about the hope You give.
Keep reminding me of You faithfulness
And Your grace is more than enough.
Not by my will, Lord.
So let Thy will be done.
In case you couldn't tell, those are supposed to be song lyrics. I never thought the tune itself was very good, but that is another story.
The point, I think, is that I still get impatient about the future. It's not that I want to see the whole map (control-freak that I am), but sometimes knowing where the next turn is would be grand. I guess that is what trusting God, having faith is all about. All I know is the final destination and it's all up to God when I get there and what roads I take on the way. Forget being a co-pilot, I'm sitting in the back more or less along for the ride. Shoot, crank the music and let's stop off at some of those green pastures every now and again and I'm good to go.
Right, that metaphor is far from perfect. I know it doesn't really address work done along the way, like offering pedestrians a ride and such. But it says what I want it to say. And - gosh darn it - it's my metaphor and I'll leave it incomplete if I want to.
Where was I? Oh yeah, God's perfect planning. I was singing a song the other night (Abba Father by Shaun Groves) and part of it is:
In my weakness, You protect me.
When my heart strays, You correct me.
and I was reminded of how much God has protected/corrected me and how often I don't really see all that He has done/is doing until I see it in retrospect.
[I was going to insert here, as an example, a long story about this guy I knew in high school and how God kept me from what would have been a messy and impossible relationship, but I felt cheesy and annoying when I was writing it (not that it has really stopped me before) so I decided to spare you. You don't know how grateful you should be. Really. I mean, chocolates and thank-you bouquets might be in order...]
What is winter with no snow?
Yep, it snowed here in Blacksburg today. And actually stuck a little bit. That means today was a good day.
And to start the semester off properly, a run-down of my course-load:
Genetics: Not much to say on this one. Except my teacher is Turkish.
Habitat Ecology: A study of habitat classifications. Most likely going to be my best class this semester.
Statistics: No comment.
Population Dynamics and Estimation: All math. It should be interesting though.
Habitat Evaluation: One big group project. All semester long.
Wildlife Field Techniques: This class meets 4 times this semester. And then I have a 10 day field work in August.
It's going to be quite the semester.
And to start the semester off properly, a run-down of my course-load:
Genetics: Not much to say on this one. Except my teacher is Turkish.
Habitat Ecology: A study of habitat classifications. Most likely going to be my best class this semester.
Statistics: No comment.
Population Dynamics and Estimation: All math. It should be interesting though.
Habitat Evaluation: One big group project. All semester long.
Wildlife Field Techniques: This class meets 4 times this semester. And then I have a 10 day field work in August.
It's going to be quite the semester.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Back in the 'Burg
Contrary to popular belief, I have not disappeared from the face of the earth. I'm back at school (have been for 30 hours perhaps) and will resume normal posting schedules shortly.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Whew
It feels great to be done with the semester. Added to this is the knowledge that I absolutely rocked a couple of my exams (especially my history one) and the fact that my apartment is finally clean again (after a couple of crazy weeks). So I'm wandering around in a bit of euphoria right now.
I end with a quote from my history prof. said during our exam:
I end with a quote from my history prof. said during our exam:
Great exams are never finished...they're abandoned.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Monday, December 13, 2004
Wassailing, wassailing all over the town
Our cup it is white, and our ale it is brown.
Our cup it is made from the fine ashen tree,
and so is our ale of the finest barley.
The VT Nav Christmas party was Saturday. Among other things, I wound up taking some Wassail and it was a hit. While most people had never heard of wassail, or had heard the word (as in "here we go a-wassailing...") but had no clue what wassail was. People were anxious to try the curiosity and the wassail went fast. I should have made at least a double batch.
For those of you who don't know what Wassail is, I refer you here or here, rather than try to explain it myself.
I will, however, share with you my family's recipe (non-alcoholic, of course):
1 Gallon apple cider
6 whole cloves
6 whole allspice
2 tsp ground nutmeg
6 oz frozen orange juice
6 oz frozen lemonade
1 C brown sugar
short cinnamon sticks (a few for the pot, or one for each person's mug)
In covered 6 qt sauce pot, over low heat, simmer 2 C cider, cloves, allspice, nutmeg for 10 min. Add remaining apple cider, undiluted lemonade and orange juice, brown sugar. Heat until hot, no boiling.
For effect: Float baked apples (cored, baked @ 350 for 25 min.) and sprinkle with sugar.
Enjoy.
Where the heart is.
This past weekend the VT Navs were visited by some people involved with the Navigator ministry in Japan. The country coordinator, the head-guy from Shizouka, a VT alum and friend who are ministering in Sendai and some students. It was really great getting to hang out with them, learn about what need there is and get an update on what God is doing in Japan. There was, of course, encouragement for us to get more involved. Many VTNavs have been to Japan on short trips before and the need for young people to minister in Japan was emphasized a few times.
So driving home from one of the meetings my friend asked me the question of the week: "So have you thought about Japan?"
I have---and I haven't.
Right now I am just searching for some guidance. I feel like I'm back in my senior year of high school...trying to decide what my next step will be, trying to figure out what my future might entail, and really not having a clue of what is going on.
From the practical side, I can't really afford to do much. I know that if God wants me to go somewhere, He will provide the means. At the same time I'm thinking of the tens of thousands of dollars in debt I am (happens when you are paying for school with loans), and the fact that I haven't ever had a paying job (only volunteered) and don't have much experience (except some volunteering) relating to my major. My parents really want me to get a job this summer or at least a paid internship, so I want to honor them as well.
But the real reason is I just don't feel called there. I love hearing from the missionaries, being able to pray for them, and supporting them in any way I can, but my heart is not in Japan. It is like Chester. I spent the summer ministering there. I love the kids, I love the missionaries, I love the people, I even like living there (it was certainly home by the end of the summer). I know that I could live and work in Chester and be happy...but my heart isn't there. I don't feel called to work there, and I know that if I chose to be there, it would be me rather than God choosing.
So then my problem, and my real struggle, is: I have no clue where my heart is and I believe for ministry to be fruitful and glorifying to God, your heart should be in it. I suppose that it is something I may find out through trial and error. For now, I know that I love to serve, directly. I like to do things for people, I like to have my home open to people and be a constant hostess. I have a heart for worship. Judging from the feedback on this year's Christmas party, I apparently have the ability to administer and organize. (Perhaps I should rephrase that and say that I have the ability to break down a task and delegate the pieces.)
I know bits and pieces, but I've been looking at options for this summer and I have just hit a wall. I can't imagine what trouble I will have when I look for something to do after I graduate. I have another year and a half (Spring '06!!!) before that decision needs to be made, though.
Between now and then, I want to focus on searching out my spiritual gifts and learning where my heart lies, where God would have me, just a better sense of His purpose for my life.
Those sound an awful lot like resolutions. Well, it is Advent, the "Christian New Year."
So driving home from one of the meetings my friend asked me the question of the week: "So have you thought about Japan?"
I have---and I haven't.
Right now I am just searching for some guidance. I feel like I'm back in my senior year of high school...trying to decide what my next step will be, trying to figure out what my future might entail, and really not having a clue of what is going on.
From the practical side, I can't really afford to do much. I know that if God wants me to go somewhere, He will provide the means. At the same time I'm thinking of the tens of thousands of dollars in debt I am (happens when you are paying for school with loans), and the fact that I haven't ever had a paying job (only volunteered) and don't have much experience (except some volunteering) relating to my major. My parents really want me to get a job this summer or at least a paid internship, so I want to honor them as well.
But the real reason is I just don't feel called there. I love hearing from the missionaries, being able to pray for them, and supporting them in any way I can, but my heart is not in Japan. It is like Chester. I spent the summer ministering there. I love the kids, I love the missionaries, I love the people, I even like living there (it was certainly home by the end of the summer). I know that I could live and work in Chester and be happy...but my heart isn't there. I don't feel called to work there, and I know that if I chose to be there, it would be me rather than God choosing.
So then my problem, and my real struggle, is: I have no clue where my heart is and I believe for ministry to be fruitful and glorifying to God, your heart should be in it. I suppose that it is something I may find out through trial and error. For now, I know that I love to serve, directly. I like to do things for people, I like to have my home open to people and be a constant hostess. I have a heart for worship. Judging from the feedback on this year's Christmas party, I apparently have the ability to administer and organize. (Perhaps I should rephrase that and say that I have the ability to break down a task and delegate the pieces.)
I know bits and pieces, but I've been looking at options for this summer and I have just hit a wall. I can't imagine what trouble I will have when I look for something to do after I graduate. I have another year and a half (Spring '06!!!) before that decision needs to be made, though.
Between now and then, I want to focus on searching out my spiritual gifts and learning where my heart lies, where God would have me, just a better sense of His purpose for my life.
Those sound an awful lot like resolutions. Well, it is Advent, the "Christian New Year."
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Wouldn't trade Christmas...
I do love Christmas, the whole Christmas season...It has something to do with all the traditions I've grown up with. Christmas is big in my family. It helps that my father never really grew up, I don't think my mom did either. Oh yeah, we have fun.
Today was great. I got a 94 on my history paper. I may not be the best student, and I am nowhere near 4.0, but I know how to write a rocking history paper without breaking a sweat. My prof's comments on my paper included "Wow, what a set of endnotes."
I got two new Christmas cds to add to my selection. One is all Bing Crosby, the other all Frank Sinatra. I could have gotten more, they had Mel Torme, Johnny Mathis, and all sorts of wonderful other crooners. I had to be a little careful with my money.
Meanwhile, I think Good King Wenceslas may just be one of my new favorite carols. Although the Bing Crosby & Frank Sinatra duet on The Christmas Song absolutely rocks.
Today was great. I got a 94 on my history paper. I may not be the best student, and I am nowhere near 4.0, but I know how to write a rocking history paper without breaking a sweat. My prof's comments on my paper included "Wow, what a set of endnotes."
I got two new Christmas cds to add to my selection. One is all Bing Crosby, the other all Frank Sinatra. I could have gotten more, they had Mel Torme, Johnny Mathis, and all sorts of wonderful other crooners. I had to be a little careful with my money.
Meanwhile, I think Good King Wenceslas may just be one of my new favorite carols. Although the Bing Crosby & Frank Sinatra duet on The Christmas Song absolutely rocks.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Schedule for the day
10:10--Forest Ecology Class: work through 2 equations, bubble in teacher evaluation
11:00-1:00--Chill in coffee-shop working on laptop, sipping hot cocoa, and eating pumpkin cheesecake
1:00--meet with Prof and beg for one more point added to my grade
1:25--Technical Writing Class: eat pizza, lots of pizza
2:30--Law Class: eat candy and fill out teacher evalutation
I do love the last days of the semester....
11:00-1:00--Chill in coffee-shop working on laptop, sipping hot cocoa, and eating pumpkin cheesecake
1:00--meet with Prof and beg for one more point added to my grade
1:25--Technical Writing Class: eat pizza, lots of pizza
2:30--Law Class: eat candy and fill out teacher evalutation
I do love the last days of the semester....
Saturday, December 04, 2004
A-C-C!!!
Was it just me or did the UM fan's "Let's go 'Canes" sound more like S.O.S. by the 4th?
I don't think anyone was listening either way.
GO HOKIES!!!
I don't think anyone was listening either way.
GO HOKIES!!!
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
All I want for Christmas:
to curl up in a comfy chair with a mug of tea and a good book and smell that wonderful mix of spices and old books; to get flour in my hair; to sit and cross-stitch while jazz standards drift from the radio; to play boardgames by lamplight; to use a cookie jar for what it is made for; to spend an evening in wool socks and warm conversation.
That's not asking too much, is it?
That's not asking too much, is it?
Monday, November 29, 2004
Blacksburg Academics
(No this is not about us schooling the 'hoos yesterday, although that would be a really great title for such a post.)
I've been sitting here for the past few hours (I think the counter has just ticked past 7) drinking coffee from my John Deere mug and researching the 1933 Agricultural Adjustment Act. By the way, why is it called research when this is the first time I have seen any of this information?
Ok, that was beside the point (not that I really have one). So, I've been sifting through book after book on Agricultural History and the like finding gem-quotes like:
I've been sitting here for the past few hours (I think the counter has just ticked past 7) drinking coffee from my John Deere mug and researching the 1933 Agricultural Adjustment Act. By the way, why is it called research when this is the first time I have seen any of this information?
Ok, that was beside the point (not that I really have one). So, I've been sifting through book after book on Agricultural History and the like finding gem-quotes like:
God made the country, man made the city, and the devil made the suburbs and the country clubs. --Russell Lord
As stressed as I am about all the work I have to do this week (3 killer papers all due Thursday) I actually enjoy doing the research. I learned this system in high school for writing papers (I think my history teacher kept urging us to try it) and it hasn't failed me yet. When researching, I write down each point or piece of data on a seperate index card (for this paper I've got a stack of 200 or so) then I group the cards by category (instant outline) and put them in an order that makes sense. That way, when I write the paper I just have to write transition statements from one card to the next...it goes much smoother that way.
I know, I'm a nerd but it works for me. I really don't know why I decided to post this, maybe I want to live up to the line before buy it. What's worse though: me writing this dribble or you reading it?
Ponder this well and grow in wisdom as you reflect. -- Norman Scott Brien Gras.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
A glimpse of life
in the Holub household:
Me: That's a hyphen, not a dash.
Dad: What's the difference between a dash and a hyphen?
Mom: About three years of college.
I love my parents.
Me: That's a hyphen, not a dash.
Dad: What's the difference between a dash and a hyphen?
Mom: About three years of college.
I love my parents.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
There is beauty in a blank page. It sits there new, fresh, ready to be worked. It can become almost anything: a poem, a play, a psalm, a prayer. As it is, it is nothing, empty and waiting. Waiting for the pen to spill over. Thirsty for the blood, the tears, the perspiration that will give it life. Anticipating those markings that will forever keep it from just a plain piece of paper. It spurs emotion into thought, thought into word.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)