Ready and.......Break.

I'm headed off to Chester, PA for Spring Break. "But why," you ask, "would I want to go North, where it's colder?"

I'm headed, along with the HokiePundit and other Navigators, up to Frederick Douglass Christian School.

In other words, for the next week, I get to go back to kindergarten.

Pray that we would have good fellowship and that we would be a blessing to the teachers (and others) at the school.

The Passion Revisited

I went and saw The Passion again tonight. This time I'm not going to wait to write about it. In fact, I walked right in and sat down to do this...no distractions this time.

This time I was able to go with a friend who I have been wanting to go with since the movie came out. I was really hoping that the movie would impact her in some way. I realized on the way home that I needed to see it again as well. I feel as if the first time I went, it was more as watching a movie for a movie's sake. I was continually impressed by how beautifully done the story was and how certain aspects were portrayed. I kept looking for scenes wondering how Gibson was going to interpret them, how they would transpose to screen.

I left the movie the first time thinking it was wonderfully and powerfully done. But I think the first time 'round I was more interested in method than message. This time, I didn't have that to distract me. I was able to catch little things that completely blew me away, tie some things together that I had skimmed the first time.

This time, I cried.

Warning: Rant Ahead

I couldn't really believe this when I first read it, but it's true.

Online service, oh really? Worship, prayer and scripture...All the perks of a church service with none of the fellowship...Am I missing something here? I mean, isn't fellowship the main reason for gathering as a church in the first place? This way we can be even more detached from those we should be building up, learning from, and holding accountable.....

Wait, let me check....No, Hebrews 10:25 still says (emphasis mine):

not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

Sheesh....and how are you supposed to take communion? Break out the Wonder Bread and Juicy Juice at home? I don't think that's what is meant by childlike faith....

Oooohh, I like this.

Hinei Ma Tov

I went to bible study tonight with a trembling heart. I was troubled, and a bit terrified, by things I've been seeing in the world around me and the world as a whole (and yes I am being vague). Needless to say, I needed some encouragement. I've said before how important I believe fellowship among believers to be, and tonight was no different.

I think tonight was one of the best bible studies we have ever had, just really analyzing where our fellowship should be and what we have been missing out on.

We had a really wonderful discussion about how, in order to have really true fellowship and be able to encourage each other fully, we have to be vulnerable. We have to be open, honest, and direct whereas we are usually reserved and vague.

It is hard to be completely open with people. I know that I have this layer of scar tissue on my heart that has only recently (within the past year or so) begun to break down. So personally, it is still really hard to put myself completely out before people. I've developed so many defense mechanisms that I have to break those habits. One of the many ways I learned to keep myself from getting hurt was to let my intellect completely override my emotion to the point that, when emotion was shown, it was in extremes. I don't like that. I like to be able to cry with someone in their sorrow or rejoice with them in their joy. I used to think of myself as sympathetic, but I've noticed lately that I have not been nearly as compassionate as I had thought. One of my prayers has been the words of Ezekiel 36:26, for God to "remove the heart of stone from [my] flesh and give [me] a heart of flesh."

I was talking about this with a sister who mentioned that she had the opposite problem: letting her emotions completely guide everything and getting far too involved without thinking thinks out intellectually. Which leads to another aspect of fellowship we talked about in study, how much we have to learn from one another. We can learn from others in areas that we are weak, and teach others in areas that we are strong....

Not a whole bunch of new or revolutionary concepts, but it really meant a lot to me tonight to be able to share the burdens of my heart. Definitely renewed my spirit...

Old fish, new fish

Today is the Seussentennial. So happy birthday to one of my heroes!

Some other fun birthdays I've found for this month:
1: Frederic Francois Copin (1810); Alton Glenn Miller (1904)
3: Alexander Graham Bell (1847)
4: Antonio Vivaldi (1678)
6: Elizabeth Barret Browning (1806); Louis "Lou" Costello (1908); Michelangelo de Lodovico Buonarroti-Simoni (1475)
9: Amerigo Vespucci (1454); George "Babe" Ruth (1905); Ferdinand II (1452)
11: Lawrence Welk (1903)
12: Amelia Earhart (1905); Amanda Holmes (1985) ;)
14: Johann Strauss (1804); Billy Crystal (1947); Albert Einstein (1879)
17: Nat "King" Cole (1919)
18: John Updike (1932); Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Dough Boy (1961)
20: Ovid (43 B.C.); Domenikos "El Greco" Theotokopoules (1541); Fred Rogers (1928)
21: Johann Sebastian Bach (1685)
22: Chico Marx (1887); Andrew Lloyd Webber (1948)
24: Ehrich Weiss "Harry Houdini" (1874)
25: Flannery O'Connor (1925)
26: Robert Lee Frost (1874); Thomas Lanier "Tennessee" Williams (1911)
28: Dr. Jonas Salk (1905); August Anheuser Busch, Jr. (1899)
29: Pearl Mae Bailey (1918); Me (1984); Oscar Mayer (1859)
30: Francisco Jose de Goya (1746); Vincent Van Gogh (1853)
31: Rene Descarte (1596); Franz Joseph Haydn (1732); Mary Boykin Miller Chestnut (1823)

And, oh, so many more....

I saw The Passion on Friday. I'm not quite sure why I haven't said anything about it until now, maybe I just didn't know what to say.

I don't think I have much to say that hasn't already been said by others. I will say it was absolutely beautiful. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. At least not then. I didn't break down until I took communion on Sunday.

I have a friend that wants to go see it and I hope to be able to join her.

Hmm...

Apparently some individual(s) on my hall don't appreciate my singing; even though I sing alone, in my room, with the door closed, at times when few people are around, my voice doesn't have the power to carry far through concrete, and I don't have any neighbors except my RA. These critics, however, are generous enough to leave their comments on my message board. Of course, these are the same intellects that think it's funny to switch the nametags on all of the doors in the hall, pretend to do cheerleading routines in the hall at 2:30 AM, and have deep discussions over whether 'tis better to get drunk on Thursday or Friday (i.e. when it would be more convenient to deal with a hangover).

Have I mentioned that I am looking forward to living off campus next year?

Quick Quote

Money is not the key to all happiness but it unlocks some interesting doors.

The irony of it all being that this comes from a fortune cookie--um--fortune found in the compartment of a really swell box purse I found at Goodwill.

Never Cease to be Amazed.

The sky today was a piercing blue. I found it next to impossible to lower my gaze all afternoon, it was absolutely breathtaking.

I hope I never reach the point where a sunset doesn't stop me in my tracks, or a thunderstorm fails to enthrall me, or where I see trees ablaze in color and think of it as "just another fall."

Ok, I think I can go back to work now.

They say Hallmark has a card for everything..

This year, I've finally decided to observe Lent. You read right: my first Lent. I've wanted to before but none of the churches I've gone to growing up observed it, and I always managed to find some excuse or other to talk myself out of it.

Anyway, I've decided to refrain from snacks; the idea being that when I want to munch on something, I can pull out some scripture to meditate on.

For thoughts on Lent head to the Wilderness.

Which book are you?

I've heard a lot about it but now I really need to read this:

You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Via TSO.

Selah:

musical interlude; also pause/meditate/reflect

Can I just say how awesome gospel music is? We had VT-One Saturday and the Enlightened Gospel Choir was one of the groups that led worship. I think it is next to impossible not to praise when it comes to gospel. It is just raw worship--bone-shaking, soul-shattering worship...

Inspiring. I think some of it may have rubbed off on me by the time we (APEX band) got up to close. It made me realize that I've been holding back some when it comes to worship. But, oh, to let loose completely and worship with all your heart, emptying all of yourself before God.

Shout joyfully to God, all the earth;
Sing to the glory of His name;
Make His praise glorious.
Say to God, "How awesome are Thy works!
Because of the greatness of Thy power
Thine enemies will give feigned obedience to Thee.
All the earth will worship Thee,
And will sing praises to Thee;
They will sing praises to Thy name.
Selah
Psalm 66:1-4

Controlling the Blaze

Becky and I have been going through Linda Dillow's Calm My Anxious Heart, which is about contentment in all aspects of life. This week we managed to get to the chapter dealing with greed and Dillow includes a really great quote from A.W. Tozer:

Within the human heart things have taken over. God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution.

Dillow also refers to Proverbs 30:14-15a, but what caught my attention was 15b-16:

There are three things that will not be satisfied, four that will not say "Enough":Sheol, and the barren womb, earth that is never satisfied with water, and fire that never says "enough."

So verse 16 combined with Tozer's quote got me thinking...It is really easy for me to fall into the "fire that never says 'enough'" trap. I latch on to things and can't seem to get enough, particularly things of God: fellowship, word, and worship. Now a desire for these things is good, we should never be quenched, we should never be complacent when it comes to our walk with Christ...but I take it a little too far. I get fanatical (almost psychotic) about things.

Especially worship. God has given me a definite heart for worship and has allowed me the opportunity to use that by placing me in a worship band. But I've noticed that I may take things too far. I would love to worship 'til sunrise but sometimes I question my motives; whether I want to keep worshiping because we are giving God the glory due Him or because I love the feeling I get when worshiping and don't want it to end. When we close worship, I have to be careful not to sink into disappointment as I have done before. Instead of riding the afterglow and recognizing the value of the time just spent in worship, I begin to resent that it had to end.

I've done the same before with time in the Word. (I have a different theory as to why I crave fellowship so much, but that's another post.) I can easily fall into treating God as a drug, focusing on the high rather than on Him. And then I'm upset if/when the buzz isn't big enough.

All this, of course, makes me all the more thankful. I mean, any man (or woman for that matter) wouldn't take such abuse...

Quote from the back of my Global Expeditions shirt:

We must be global christians with a global vision because our God is a global God.
-John Stott-

The Fruits of Idle Hands

My roommate and I have finally found something to do with the pile of recyclables in the corner (as neither of us has the presence of mind to actually take them out to the bin). We're weaving a 4'x2' VT out of Fanta and Cherry Coke wrappers. The bottles themselves will be used for hallway bowling later on...

I know, you marvel at our ingenuity. This is what happens when one person has absolutely nothing to do, the other is avoiding actual work at all costs, and they have both been listening to a German Techno station for two days straight.

We are still trying to figure out what to do with the Mountain Dew and Sprite bottles... Any suggestions?

Yawp

I love college. It's the whole class thing I'm not too fond of.

Mid-Atlantic Nav Conference II

I told you there was another part coming...

I have to admit that, at the start, the conference didn't go too well for me. I was thrilled to be there, I was really enjoying the sessions, I was learning a lot of good stuff, but I wasn't really there. I have been having a really hard time focusing lately, and Saturday morning was no exception. Then I got taken down a couple of notches.

We had some free time after lunch. After a failed attempt at instigating a snowball war, I decided to spend some time in the Word as it had been a while since I had a really quality quiet time. I struggled through a few verses, thinking all the while that God was trying to tell me something and I just wasn't getting the point. So, instead, I got frustrated, gave up, and went for a walk so that He and I could chat.

Apparently that's what I really needed: to get away from people and other distractions and just wander. So I wound up in this field and God was finally able to get through to me on some things He's been trying to tell me for quite some time. I thought I had learned those lessons, I thought I had given things over to God, I thought I had already grasped those concepts...I was wrong.

There I was, in the middle of this field of snow, ranting at God wanting to know why I was so frustrated, why I hadn't been seeing the growth I wanted in my walk, why I hadn't gotten an answer to a prayer I've had for some time and why I couldn't focus.

And all He had to say was "Surrender." Which made me break down entirely.

Can I just say I love it when God does that? I mean, the still-small-voice thing. It just blows me away every time.

Anyway, God managed to point out how I've been trying to do things on my own power. Sure, I was having quiet times, but I was treating them more like study sessions. I was praying that God's will would be done in certain situations, but I was still trying to get things done on my own. I was praying for an answer, but I was searching it out on my own. He pointed out that He couldn't move in my life until I stepped out of the way; He couldn't guide my situation until I handed it over completely; and He couldn't give me an answer until I turned everything over and was able to listen to Him instead of my own reasoning.

So He asked, I gave, He answered.

After that, the conference took on a whole other tone for me. I could focus and actually learn. A lot of what was said in subsequent sessions reiterated what God had blindsided me with. One of the points that most sticks with me is this (regarding surrender, go figure):

There are some things that we surrender to God once and that is it. He takes care of it and we never have to deal with it again. There are some things that we have to deal with continually, that we have to bring before God every day. He wants us to come to Him and surrender those things to Him daily because He wants us to depend on Him.

God wants us to be dependent on Him...what an addiction to have.

Mid-Atlantic Nav Conference

I have quite a bit to say about this past weekend. I would have said it earlier but I got to come back to a research proposal that was due today. My final title for that being Effect of Human Presence on Flight Initiation and Habituation in American Goldfinch (Carduelis tristis), which is just a fancy way of saying I'm going to see how close I can get to the birdfeeder before I scare the birds off. Scientific writing is great. I mean, at least you sound like you know what you are talking about.

Right, so back to the conference. I'm going to have to do this one in two parts: what happened, and what I learned (as I am still trying to get it all into words).
The conference was a blast. I love road trips anyway, so spending 5 hours in a car with some really great people just rocks. So the way up, my group was the last to depart, but it's all good. After last week, I was just glad to be in the car. Laura and I got to catch up. I got to talk with Nate and Josh, a couple of guys that I haven't really been able to get to know much until then. So it was really fun.
Our speaker for the weekend was Mike Jordahl, National Navigator Collegiate Director. Good stuff, man. The theme was a new thing and we drew a lot from Isaiah 43. wow...

Back on track. We had a lot of time for fun/mischief and Laura and I managed to start a snowball fight. Well, we started one...it didn't really last. But there was time set aside for group prayer for our campuses. An hour was not nearly enough time, we still had so much to pray over. And there were a lot of campuses represented: Maryland, PennState, Rutgers, VT, Howard and more that I can't think of off hand (helps that I lost my program from the weekend).
After a couple more sessions talking about new purpose, new paths to walk in, and the like (more later), we had more good fellowship time. There was an open mic night in the dining hall but the VT group migrated to the gym. Where there is any concentration of VTNavs, there is a good chance that swing will break out. That probability increases if someone managed to remember to bring swing music (as I had) and there is an available stereo (which there was). So really, it was inevitable.

I was definitely not ready to come home on Sunday. I woke up early and just sat outside taking in the view. We were up in Greencastle, PA at Camp Joy-El. Absolutely beautiful up there. We were in the middle of farmland and everything was covered in snow, sigh...There was even a stream with a small waterfall. More session Sunday and we headed home around 2 or so. Carloads got shuffled for the ride home so it turned out that Laura and I wound up in Robbie's truck. Laura slept the whole way home so it was just Robbie (yes I am actually friends with the HokiePundit, you should all be insanely jealous) and me and ska for 4.5 hours straight. I'm definitely going to have to get ahold of some of those cds...

To top it all up, when we got back, it was snowing in Blacksburg. What an end. I was so exhausted I was actually in bed by 9. I haven't gone to bed that early in quite some time.

I promise, I've got more substantive stuff coming about what we studied and how God (quite literally) knocked me off my feet and to my knees this weekend. All I can say for now on that is, "He is amazingly faithful."

Hmm...

Only one comment. Me thinks perhaps you care not what nor why I write....
Pigeon Pi came from hours of deliberation. I thought through many names: "Hokie extempore" was a little stuffy but almost got used; "Pigeonhole" came up but, alas, had already been claimed; "Pigeon Piety" was even considered, but didn't quite ring right...So "Pigeon Pi" it is. Pigeon comes from my surname which, apparently, is Czech for pigeon. Pi was actually grabbed at random from the dictionary as meaning an amount of type that has been jumbled or thrown together at random; although I like the whole pigeon/dove/pi idea. I may have to pretend that I actually put in that much thought...